Amongst the myriad articles about the industries that millennials are killing, the one that caught my eye was the news of the diamond industry. Boomers are confused, startled even, by the news that millennials are buying less diamonds than ever before, yet they aren’t trying to understand why this might be. This shift in jewel preference is symptom of an entire societal shift, one where relationship standards and ideals are changing and becoming more fluid whilst, at the same time, the world is becoming more expensive. It is interesting to consider that the diamond industry relies solely on the construct of marriage to survive, so in an era where the idea of marriage is consistently being questioned and deconstructed, is it really that shocking that the diamond industry is struggling?
Marriage is a funny thing. Yes, it’s beautiful and a chance to wear a gorgeous dress, but the concept of legally binding yourself to another person for the rest of eternity is odd. It seems as if I am not the only one who holds this opinion either; the old marital model of getting married and staying married is disappearing in many ways. People are forgoing marriage all together in favour of cohabiting with their partners, and those who do choose to marry are doing it at a much later stage in their life than previous generations. This can be put down to two very distinct shifts in our society; that of the rising cost of living and the sudden availability of multiple potential partners via dating apps and an increase in social mobility. Think about it, things are expensive now. I probably won’t ever be able to afford a mortgage, so how am I expected to fork out almost £30,000 on a wedding? Even if I do decide to believe in soulmates and there being one person out there specifically designed for me, would I really want to spend that much money on simply entertaining my entire family for a day? Absolutely not. The entire concept of expensive engagement rings followed by an elaborate and expensive wedding is completely out of touch with our generation simply because we will never have that much money to spare. Ever.
Money aside, there is also the problem with the concept of forever. Between high divorce rates and dating apps, it is shocking to me that anyone in their early 20’s is able to believe that they are meant to be with one person for their entire life. Dating apps garner a lot of bad press (which is understandable as I’ve been ghosted more times than I can count on both hands), but the root of this bad press is often that it presents relationships as interchangeable, replaceable. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. Whilst people should not be considered as something to throw away when you’re bored or feel like you’re due an upgrade, the use of dating apps and the social mobility offered to us through university allows us to broaden our horizons, to see what’s out there and avoid settling for a mediocre partner simply because they were the first person to show us any form of interest. I do believe that some people find the person they want to spend their life with first time round, and that’s great, but the rest of us benefit from being a little bit picky and taking slightly longer to decide. We aren’t being manipulative or trying to kill the sanctuary that is marriage, we are simply prioritising our own needs; understanding that wanting someone we love entirely to be beside us is not selfish but is in fact the opposite. Why would we marry young simply to then increase our likelihood of being one of the divorced couples that make up the shocking statistic that 42% of marriages across England and Wales end in divorce? I respect myself more than that.
Furthermore, the opportunities that we are presented with are myriad compared to those of our parents – no more are we leaving school to get a job, find a partner and be married with our first child by 25. We instead have the options of university, to travel across the country to meet new people, have new experiences and open our minds. The concept of marriage isn’t outdated because we are choosing to stay single our entire lives, it simply is no longer a priority for many of us.
Our lives are less calculated than they perhaps once were, allowing us to explore singledom or multiple partners whilst also exploring our own personal wants and needs. A sparkly diamond ring is no longer the be all and end all of our lives, it is no longer something we strive for but is something that would be welcome in our lives should the time and place be right. Attitudes are going through a positive change as a reaction to the society around us changing, we are moulding our lives in more individual ways and understanding that we are no longer defined by our relationship status or whether we have a ring on our finger, allowing us to explore ourselves in deeper ways than perhaps ever before. The thing is, I would love to own a sparkly and expensive diamond ring. The only thing I’m not so keen on is the man that is supposed to come with it.
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